Did Alice finally cross the line?
by Fairytales-are-better
Summary: What has Alice Cullen done to finally make Edward want revenge? How will this all be blamed on Emmett? Will things ever be even? AND MORE IMPORTANTLY will Esme ever find her FAVROUTE vase? READ&REVIEW :
1. Chap 1, HAHA, poor Jasper,

**Disclaimer: I DONT OWN TWILIGHT :(**

"Alice" I growled not in the mood for her immature little games. She danced just out of my reach and laughed. It was a rather an annoying sound that grated on my nerves.

"I'm sorry Edward" she sang not sounding sorry at all.

"That was my _car_ Alice, _my_ car" I lunged at her again but she managed to dodge it. The evil little pixie seemed to have no mercy. She mentally pictured what once was my precious Volvo. Green and Purple stripes now covered its surface and the words "That's right I'm finally out of the closet" were spray painted on the sides. Alice then felt the need to leave it on the side of the highway for me to rescue. I tried to think of an acceptable form of revenge in my head. I realized Alice had sprinted off. Probably so I won't rip her head off. Wise move.

I felt my own Evil smirk creeping onto my face. Mary Alice Bardon was going to regret the day she messed with my car.

I slipped out my Cell phone and dialled Seth Clearwater's Number.

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"Thanks Seth" I say 5 minutes later raising my voice unnecessarily and hanging up. I heard a very satisfying growl from upstairs as my future suddenly disappeared from Alice's sight.

I causally strolled past Alice and Jasper's Bedroom with a gloating smile on my lips just to annoy Alice.

"Edward" she whined, she was sitting in the middle of the bed on Jasper's lap with her eyes closed rubbing her temples, a slight pout on her elfin face.

"You wrecked my car Alice" I said I could tell by her thoughts she was trying to lead me on a guilt trip but I wasn't falling for it.

"Aw come on man" Japer pled in his mind "I'm trying to get some and you're not helping"

I shuddered and walked away leaving Alice to grumble.

The next few days was spent with Alice sending me nervous glances and Jasper sending me death glares which I ignored. I decided a week of suspense would be enough then I dropped the bombshell.

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"**_You sold all my clothes to goodwill_**" Alice shrieked. We had been hunting for about an hour so I texted Seth to pick up all of Alice's clothes, told him Bella would be waiting with them at the back door.

The strong feeling of sweet revenge I felt at her reaction wavered when I saw her murderous glare but then I thought of my poor innocent Volvo in the garage gathering dust and I grinned in triumphant. I bet the little pixie will think twice before trying to prank me again anytime soon.

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Authors note: Thanks for reading this somewhat random one shot, I was extremely bored...... :)

Sorry for any spelling mistakes.

please review,

**Jess.**


	2. RUN AWAYYY!

**Disclaimer: I've decided to keep going with this story cause my friend wanted me to, she's probably the only one reading it lol OH WELL. **

**Here you go Jessie :) **

**oh yeah also I don't own twilight.**

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Edward Anthony Masen Cullen was going to PAY BIG TIME!

It was his fault I was stuck here, here being the inside of a Jail Cell with a Police Officer glaring at me because I refused to leave the mall at closing time then broke back into it when they kicked me out. Yes it was _his_ entire stupid fault.

The police woman glared at me, at first I had tried to flirt my way out of trouble but the plan quickly backfired when I released she was a woman, seriously it was like she had never heard of waxing or something. So after charging me with breaking and entering and sexual assault the woman/man whatever you want to call her drove me to the Police station.

Anyway, so I was now sitting here in a filthy jail cell waiting for Carlisle to bust me out and I was in a VERY bad mood since I was having to wear the same outfit for A WHOLE TWO DAYS IN A ROW I MEAN COME ON THAT'S PRETTY MUCH WORSE CHILD ABUSE. I SWEAR IF EDWARD SHOWS HIS FACE EVER AGAIN I'LL RIP HIS HEAD OFF. IF HE THOUGHT HE COULD JUST SELL ALL MY CLOTHES AND GET AWAY WITH IT HE HAS SERIOUSLY LOST IT.? I MEAN COME ON ALL I DID WAS TOUCH HIS VOLVO IT WASN'T EVEN THAT GOOD OF A CAR, NOTHING COMPARED TO MY PORCHE HE REALLY NEEDS BETTER TASTE IN CARS I WAS PRACTICALLY DOING HIM A FAVOUR HE DIDN'T NEED TO GO AND DESTROY ALL MY CLOTHES!!!!!!!!

Apparently the little rant that had been going on in my head had lasted awhile and I looked up when Carlisle cleared his throat

"DADDY" I screeched running up to him as far as the bars would allow. That's when I noticed the WHOLE family there, Jasper, Esme, Rose, Bella, Nessie, Emmett, and Jacob ...Edward.....

I growled at the last one

"It's not my fault you tried to flirt with a police _woman_" he said smirking I was about to yell at him when I noticed something.

"EMMETT TURN THAT VIDEO CAMERA OFF NOW"

"NO WAY" laughed Emmett zooming up on my face I hissed I was so close to just ripping the hinges off this stupid cell and literally rip BOTH my brother's heads off.

The Officer unlocked the door and I was finally free after Carlisle apologised over and over again that is. The stupid woman blushed and I stomped out towards the car. When the rest of the family were there I turned on Emmett.

'"TURN IT OFF NOW"

"It wasn't my idea I swear Edward made me do it" He whimpered cowering behind Rose.

I turned on Edward "Start running" I spit "now"

"Alice cut it out now" Esme warned

"But mum" I started to whine "He sold ALL my CLOTHES"

"Only because she RUINED my VOLVO" he cut in

"You needed a new car anyway"

"That didn't mean you had to kill it"

"Emmett dared me too"

Edward gasped and spun around to look at Emmett

"I, I, UM well you see" he stuttered before he piss bolted

"**Oh no you don't**" Edward yelled tearing off after him.

"GET BACK HERE" I screeched chasing them I didn't care if anyone saw us Edward was going to die. Soon.

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**REVIEW!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!**

**XX**


	3. EMMET!

**Ummm yeah next chappy,**

**WARNING! lots of swearing, cause thats just emmett ;)**

**hope you like it :)**

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Shit I was so scared right now, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. Alice spilled the beans that it was me who had the idea about trashing his Volvo. Stupid Pixie.

I was currently hiding under the dining room table, probably not the brightest plan to begin with but I didn't have very much time to hide maybe if I stay extra quite he won't find-

"Emmet"

Shit how did he find me.

"I'm a mind Reader remember"

"Oh yeah"

"So about my car"

"Yeah about that"

He waited but I was coming up empty

"I was bored?"

"THERE YOU ARE" Alice screeched she had been doing a lot of screeching lately, Edward rolled his eyes. Stupid Mind reader.

Alice tried tackling Edward but he dodged her having heard her plan. He tried in return to flip her so she would crash into the floor but she danced out of the way having seen what he was going to do.

They looked or glared might be a better word at each other for a second before nodding slightly and tackling me to the ground.

Fuck

I was to slow, I cursed and tried to struggle free but Alice had me pinned. What the hell, I didn't even do anything to the bloody elf she must be PMSing.

"Emmett she's a vampire"

"What's your point" I looked at Edward, why had he blurted such an obvious and random fact, strange.

"Emmett Vampires don't have 'PMS' "

"Err I don't know what you're talking about" I lied stupid Douche thinking he is smarter than me.

"Can you hold him Alice?"

"He won't escape" She said, she didn't even sound like she was trying I struggled again I was lying on the floor with my hands behind my back and the elf was sitting on top of me. She didn't even move at my attempts to trow her off. Huh? I thought I was supposed to be the Coolest Buff est Vamp out why did she have to go and ruin my fun?

I then realized Ed was missing.

"Hey Shorty what the hell I thought we were going to do this together why did you go and join the dark side?"

"I said I would help you prank Edward but that was BEFORE he got revenge and I hit on an old hairy woman so now we have both decided this is all your fault"

"What?"

"You heard me"

"You guys are cruel"

"I hate you both"

"So you're still mad at Ed?"

"Yes"

"Wow note to self never steal Alice's clothes"

She grinned just as Edward returned.

"What did you do" I said I was just starting to really panic, after all this was Edward and Alice we were talking about there wasn't anything these two wouldn't do if you messed up their prize possession's. I was starting to regret buying all that spray paint.

"You can let him up now Alice" Just as he said the words I sprung free the Panic was really strong now I couldn't think properly. What if they messed with my car? Or hid Rosie? Or deleted all my High scores on the PlayStation 3? That MUST be it. I ran up the stairs to check the high scores but mine were still all there. I breathed I sigh of relief okay what next.

I spent the next two hours trying to find out what they had done growing more freaked out the more time passed.

The car, Fine

Rosie, Fine

Fluffy, Fine

My Secret stash of silly string, Fine

My secret stash of embarrassing Video's of all the family, Fine

My naked pictures of Rosie, ALL FINE.

I COULDN'T FIND ANYTHING AND I MEAN NOTHING OUT OF ORDER I THREW MY HANDS UP IN THE AIR AND STOMPED MY FEET. I SAW EDWARD AND ALICE LAUGHING ON THE COUCH AND I POUTED.

"GUYS" I whined "WHAT DID YOU DO"

They looked at each other.

"Nothing" Edward managed to choke out in between fits of laughter

What the fuck Nothing? "So you mean this whole time I've been searching for nothing?"

"Yep"

"Well fuck me dead"

"Emmett"

I stumbled backwards as Esme appeared out of nowhere and boy did she look mad.

"What?" I said

"Where is it?"

"What do you me-"

TELL ME WHERE YOU HID MY FAVORITE _VASE? IT BETTER NOT BE BROKEN OR SO HELP ME EMMETT"_

_Shit, no they didn't do anything... to me._

"I well I um err" I stuttered before I piss bolted

Now I just need to think of a good hiding place?

I heard Ed chuckle behind me.

Stupid Mind reader, this was all HIS fault I'll get him back somehow, maybe if I mess up his piano?

He shut up then. Ha I thought to myself feeling smug about putting my plan into action that is of course until I heard another set of legs chasing after me.

Shit.

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**HEHE, REVIEW PLEASE IT MAKES ME HAPPY :) :) :)**

**um yeah please review even if you hated it, just pretend you loved it ;) lol**

Jess xx


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